Needs Strength to be Strong

My confident drops just now.. I receive the thing with surprise.. I wasn't ready I guess.. I didn't know I would get it that way.. Without notice.. So I just accept it without thinking much.. Then I sat down and look at it in my hand..

That wasn't what I have expected all this while.. I have excepted it to be higher.. I thought I will be getting what I want.. I swallow down the tears with hurt.. My doubt seem to have sensed by them and so I was called to talk about it.. Turns out there happen to be some miscommunication.. I have no idea as I wasn't confirm by it before..

I can't force and they surely won't give me what I want now.. But I feel better now as I have get things clear out.. I didn't realise that they look highly on me and Expecting more from me.. I have to work hard to achieve again.. I hope I won't get disappoint anymore.. As I have already focus the entire thing so hard in me.. I wish I won't be ill treated.. I wish..

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Friends do change even if it's someone you have known since years back.. When the both of you were still young, the two of you click so well.. Both were still being naive.. There wasn't the word fake or selfish or unfriendly.. Who knows after years of not keeping in touch and one day the both of you met back.. And things at first do goes smoothly.. Then you will start to realise things are not going well anymore.. You start to see the word of selfish and ends up feeling like a fool.. A fool who thought it was still like back in those old days when mind are still naive..

what a speed we have

WTH.....!!! How I wish I'm in some country with extreme fast Internet connection...!!! The line in Brunei really sucks big time, and what a shame our line here know as BROADBAND..!!!

I spend my whole Sunday today at home trying to watch Taiwan drama online.. and so stupid the episodes took so damnnnn loooonnnggggg to load.. and It totally make me so moodless to watch..

That why I have always prefer to directly buy DVD's rather than watching it online or downloading it.. COZ IT TAKES SO LONG TO COMPLETE..!! *Y&^%#$@#@#**&^&%#* *take deep breath* alright I feel at least abit better now.. and shall continue to wait for the series to load.. wth.. I feel so exciting watching online, who knows the connection turns out really bad like this..

Oh well, I just hope the speed shall improve soooonnnnnn.. If it ever gets to improve la.. wth.. =p

Jeffrey: Baby sis.. you had the look and body what.. you are just TOO PICKY..!
Momo: -__- I don't think so.. hahaha... =p

bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were then times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

-Mariah Carey-Bye Bye-


I really miss alot of people.. People who I can't bear to say bye bye to all the time after seeing them and knowing it's time to leave..
No matter it's my brother going out from home,
No matter it's from any of my family or relatives,
No matter it's a best friend who went to KL,
No matter it's the bunch of good friends who I love and care about in Miri,
No matter it's a friend who are overseas,
No matter it's the group of old colleagues,
No matter it's saying to the person I love,
I do get sad even if it's a simple goodbye..
People I love and care are mostly away from me..
Why do they have to be so far? Far that when I needed their ears, their shoulder, their warm hugs, I just can't have it..

MORGAN

Well well.. I was down in Miri yesterday.. Had an early drive down by 6am in the morning.. What else.. The eldest Prince has come home for holiday.. So the Queen ask the Princess to go fetch him back, yea from Miri.. wth..

What la.. We ain't no rich royal mah.. So the prince has to come all the way from Kuching until Miri lo.. Save budget ok.. -__-

Bought this cute PINK mini keyboard vaccum in Miri for my baby..

So anyway.. My other main point of this trip is to get myself a new SPEC..!! Which I'm loving and wearing it now.. wth.. I went to pick up Tze who happen to be in Miri to help me choose on my new spec.. I called Nicole, but no answer.. and I heard Jennifer is out on DATE..!! so I bring lovely Tze only..

And so we went to my all time trust and cheap and good optical eye shop at the Mega Hotel.. What International thingy.. yieks... hohoho.. and I got myself a MORGAN spec..!!! yippieee....

I like can liao ok.. =p

I had a MORGAN shade and now a MORGAN spec.. Lovely.. So match in heaven ok.. wth..


All well, I know it doesn't look that great but it's the only shape which suits my face..!! And I insist that I want a Morgan coz I love it.. and the other pretty Morgan with cool and pretty frame not suit my big face.. -___-"' terrible.. so terrible..



So well doesn't matter now as long as I look good.. wth.. Once again thanks to Tze and my brother helping me out..

nah my big and lovely face.. wth.. -__-

Then what a good day to had lunch with Jennifer, Hao and Shirley.. Remember us as a band ok.. You know what I mean Jenn.. wth.. and Tze can't join us all because her Darling chooses sleep over seeing us? Good job boss Alvin.. and what a coincidence when I drop off Tze, I saw Kevin and so we all end up having lunch together without Tze.. -__-

MORGAN in Bangkok.. I'm loving it..

Bah enuf of my ranting.. I need to get my brain working.. sighs.. I'm starting to do brain storming again, When was the last time I do it? In college ok.. I'm feeling so torture.. wth.. =p BYEEE..

Sing sing sing..!!

My throat is feeling terrible now.. and my ear drum are still feeling numb.. But I'm feeling happy...!! Extremely happy..

My ex-head supervisor invite me to join dinner with some of the ex-colleagues just now at 8pm.. At Brunei restaurant or was it call Bun-lai restaurant.. The foods are good and most of all they had Karaoke thingy there.. and I sang my lungs out tonight..!

For the first time in my life I was satisfy with my voice.. and I sang so bravely..*so proud of myself* Not one song like always, tonight I sang more than five songs.. It's a breaking record for me.. wth.. Whenever I hang out with my friends at K-Box or Fire in Miri, I seldom get to sing as usually there won't be much chances and I feel so shy as everyone is such a GREAT in singer..

But just now I sang so well that I was the top among all of us.. wth.. I couldn't believe myself.. The karaoke at Brunei restaurant is one of a kind.. After you finished your song you receive your singing score.. Guess what my top score just now was 96 out of 100...!! Hehe.. I sang "kai bu liao kou" by Jay Chou with Ah Khiong.. Then another song call " I'll stand by you" by The Pretenders I got 94...!! I sang solo ok.. wth..

I am so happy.. I don't want to leave this happy feeling.. I like that karaoke set there so much because it gives me high score.. wth.. bah.. I shall now enter dreamland with a huge smile on my face.. =p

Always be my baby..

It was the year 1996, I was in Primary 5 when I first heard and fell in love with this song.. It has always been my old time favourite ever since.. Especially Mariah Carey is one of my favourite singer, other than Celine Dion.. This song always never fail to bring tears to my eyes.. Yes, I'm indeed a very sentimental person.. and I love to sing it during karaoke session..



Then once again this song touch my heart again..



David Cook from the American Idol sang it in Season 7 ofcourse.. His voice is so great.. He sang so well.. The song still melts my heart away.. I so love this song.. =)

Scary strom I see

Wishing all lovely Moms out there a HAPPY MOTHER's DAY..

I treat my family to dinner.. and we went to May Fang restaurant and had Steamboat because the Queen of my heart wants to have steamboat.. Cheap and good.. It was a first try out for me at May Fang restaurant, not bad not bad.. While we were there, First, my Mama saw her colleagues.. Then my dad saw his friends.. Then I saw Thomas's Family.. wa.. Only my brother Patrick didn't saw anyone he know.. hehe..

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I was out this afternoon for lunch with Siew Yii.. Actually it's tea time haha.. but I woke up at 2pm.. so it's still my lunch.. -__- I woke up at 9.30am but since I have nothing to do, I end up going to sleep at 11am.. siao liao me.. -__-

After eating we headed to Vincci, checking out shoes ofcoz.. and thank God I didn't buy any shoes.. I want to buy la, but must control.. cannot spend more $$$.. so torturing le.. *sighs*

I realise the price for Vinnci shoes seem to have increase.. I feel quite worry actually regarding issues on things are increasing.. Especially in Malaysia.. Price of petrol are really raising fast.. Foods also are increasing, from a plate of noodles to a cup of Milo.. Alot of Malaysian isn't satisfy with all this.. Who will be satisfy huh? Everything increase means high expenses and yet salary are still the same.. Who won't get worry?

By 5pm we were inside Q-lap Mall.. and when we were about to leave the place.. The entrance door flew open by itself and sands flew in.. The guards near the door quickly close and hold on to the glass door.. We went near the door to get a closer look at what's going on outside.. and OMG, the wind outside were so strong.. It lasted for a few minutes then it started to rain very heavily.. All this happen to quick that suddenly the rain slows down and we quickly leave the place..

And guess what we saw by the roadside?

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No joke.. really a mini typhoon..

So dangerous ok.. what if at that moment there was a car there? Thank God the polyn sign didn't smash any car.. So scary ok, and I only have one thing in mind, OMG WHAT IF THE RAIN WON'T STOP AND FLOODS..!! Again, Thank God that the rain didn't last that long.. *sighs*

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Anyway, I ate so much yesterday that I'm feeling so FAT.. In the afternoon, went for high tea at Royal Brunei Catering Restaurant with my ex ex colleagues.. So long I have not seen them.. and first comment from them is why the heck my face have pimple problem already.. sad me sad sad.. I also don't know how to answer.. I did a research on it and I think I'm having some hormone changes?? I'm not so sureeee.....

yours truly, Rachael, Lina and Christina (Ling)

I think it's time to train myself in using Make-up.. Women's favourite tools ever.. But I don't like Make up at allll... *sighs* I totally have to make up stuffs until last month during my Bangkok trip, I directly buy myself a set of Make up stuffs which cost me a bomb.. Why I buy? My lousy and pretty friends keep asking whether I'm a lady.. wth.. Don't know how to use make up also can't be lady.. So that's why you can hearing me eating on breads for another few more months.. wth..

At night, had Japanese food with my new colleagues.. Linda is resigning so she wanted to treat a few of staff to eat.. Ends up Uncle Lee treat us all.. so happy.. hehe.. Anyway it's time to stop talking about food and get myself to bed as it's 2am now.. ahhhh... GOODNIGHT people..

Another book to go

This evening, I handed in the first book my boss ask me to read last week.. I was worried about him being in a bad mood as I keep hearing his voice so loud from his office room.. He was just talking on the phone oh, not shouting to a person.. hehe..

Well, lucky for me.. I went his room with my team leader with him.. He looks fine and happy I guess.. most importantly,I PASSED his first book.. phewfffff....... I was so scare he was going to ask me questions which needs high explanation answer.. Thanks God he wasn't that bad.. and Thanks to my team leader helping me when I'm so nervous that I paused blankly.. hehe..

So I was given another book to read again.. wth.. so bored with books already.. =(

Working into going this line of business after advertising from my previous company really confuse me out.. All I use to work for the pass two years are clicking away with my mouse on drawing and cutting programme.. While now, I have to start working with files, pens, calculator, excel, words, fax machine.. wth.. doing report some more.. *scream* Never mind it's good for my future career.. =p

This industry I'm going in really has alot of things to learn for now.. Quite interesting and bored sometime.. hehe.. Oh well, I hope I can learn things fast enough to catch up with the other team members.. Alright. my tummy is still pain, so I need to have my sleep now.. *go away pain* bah goodnight peeps.. *hugs*

Being lost

I'm feeling so lost this few days.. I gues it's due to me not doing anything at night.. *sighs* before stress about work, while now stress about being bored..

Really lost.. When can someone really 'click' and be there for me? I just wish for happiness.. I don't know what am I thinking sometime.. I feel sad.. Due to some reasons.. I'm starting to wonder why did I have to feel sad? I'm really confuse.. I guess it's just the feeling of losing.. I keep finding fault and unsatisfied thing about it.. So I don't really think the feelings are there.. *sighs* I wish I can break my head..

Had alot of things on my mind too.. Was thinking of looking for a part time job.. Looking for some classes which I can attend.. and wonder when I can fall in love again? Falling in love isn't hard, what's hard is the right person and time..

Anyway, I'm having stomachache this few days.. quite pain lo.. Don't know whether it's something I have ate.. *sighs*

On the 23.4.2008 in Bangkok

Hanis

Malaysian dream girl Season 1 has end and I cannot accept the fact that Hanis won third place.. *sobs sobs* Hanis baru is the type for Malaysian dream girl la.. sad sad.. I hope Cindy will do a good job lo.. =(

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Oh well, back to my Bangkok's pictures..

The next day.. we counted it as First day because we arrived airport at night and we conted it as the First night.. -__-

The first hotel we stayed.. Modern looking.. but the location not that right.. Fall from those happening places.. Lucky thing happen is for Jennifer and Hao because Q-Bar pub is right opposite the hotel..

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Advert are huge at Bangkok.. quite pretty lo..

I bought a lovely Ruby gemstone necklace here for myself.. Cheap la ppl.. Not those with diamond and sparkle thingy ok.. haha.. Well, another reason I bought it is because the old one I had wore for around six years and I love it ofcourse but it had story and memories behind it.. I was thinking to myself.. This is going to be a brand new start after this holiday, new job and all.. So I decide it's time to change the necklace.. =)


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Boat ride down the ChaoPhraya river..

Remind me of Brunei's Kampong Ayer.. The river is also dirty.. But the peoples who live by the river, tend to swim in it, wash clothes in it.. The live here..

Floating Market

Focus on my nice hair ok.. wth.. -__-



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Watrajapradit Temple.. A Royal temple.. focus on the four head buddha above..

Gold ok.. and I just realise we all had the same poses.. haha..



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One of the chic and popular pub.. cool design huh..

The eyes so much like mine.. wth -___-

My mama favourites

Thanks to Hao and Shirley that me and Jenn were force to have Japanese food.. where is the Thai food? haha..

At the hotel.. I love the sofa..

Ending here now..
To be continue again.. hehe..

First day at Bangkok 22-4-2008

How was my new job huh?

Well, I haven't touch on my job yet.. My boss wanted me to study.. wth.. I was given books to study.. hehe.. I need to understand what are the company's services and procedure.. so have to study loh.. 3 books I tell, I feel tortured.. *sighs*

So I'm here to post pictures.. =p

First day towards Bangkok..

At the Miri Airport in the morning- Me, Jennifer, Shirley and Hao..

I like I like.. At the Kuala Lumpur airport.. Since we are only transit for three hours and so, we decide to hang around the airport for the next flight..

Look at Hao, so excited.. I know he is thinking of himself in REAL racing situation loh.. If not he won't be smiling like that.. haha.. No kidding, he even has fans right at the spot.. =p

Well well look who we saw in KL AIRPORT.. Tommy..!! College mate..!! It's been years since we last saw him.. Tommy is waiting for his flight back to Miri with his twin brother..

At the Bangkok Airport..

We went for Dinner at a restaurant nearby our hotel on the first night.. Nice atmosphere.. And that's my water.. Thailand mineral water ok.. Taste sweet sweet.. Really different..

After dinner we head to Lebua State Tower.. A pub located at the 64th floor of the building over looking Bangkok.. It was terrific.. The view and place just takes my breath away.. Totally beautiful.. But too bad we didn't manage to stay long as it starts to rain.. so sad.. I didn't even take enough pictures.. Love the place..

Great or not?

Breath taking or not?

So COOL ok.. wth..

At the lobby area.. I don't even feel like leaving the building..

White roses..

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To be continued... wth =p